Bittersweet

Moving is bittersweet. Not a great revelation I know... but it's SO true.

Today I went to a real estate office and signed all of the paperwork. We officially sold our house. For a week we are homeless (not without lodging, just without a permanent place to land). As I walked through the house this morning and took out the last of the trash it was emotional. Everywhere I looked there was a memory. There was virtually nothing in that house that we hadn't updated or remodeled. As I looked around I was flooded by memories of countless hours and the blood sweat and tears that coincided with them. Justin and I did a lot of growing up in that house. We taught ourselves to repair and replace things, we painted more than you might believe, and we learned all about the true costs of homeownership.

But beyond the bones of the house there were so many memories. That is the only house Evan has ever known. I will miss how he learned where the cereal was and he would bring it to me every morning, and multiple other times during the day. I watched him today as he walked around with me and realized that he is just about the age Caleb was when we moved here... This is the only house Caleb really remembers, and the longest he's ever lived in one place. In his lifetime before moving here the longest he'd ever been in one place was 6 months... Such sweet memories of that boy around the house. (And the crazy ones, like the day when he was under 2 and he stood in the middle of the street and followed up that little stunt by putting corn up his nose, or the day he put beads up his nose.) And Elizabeth was so sweet and little when we moved here. She is still so sweet, and still little, but she has grown so much. She spent almost 3 entire summers outside running through the yards and playing with her friends. Unknown hours of pretend and riding and racing were seen by this house. I know this move is hardest for her. She understands what is happening. She understands what she is leaving behind. She has always had a hard time with goodbyes. Yesterday as we told our neighbor friends goodbye it was no exception. She hugged and cried, and hugged some more. My favorite thing was that she asked her sweet friend Samairee to walk her back home. This is what I caught:

For me? It's hard. I look around and see great times we've had a as a family. I see the place where I solidified my independence. I know I can handle a lot as a parent. I see the place where I learned to do it by myself and how to get through life without having my husband around. I spent a lot of time alone in that house. I missed family terribly from that house. I had great friendships form in that house. That house was a sanctuary for a friend in times of great trial. It was a wonderful old house.

That pretty much sums it up. It's hard. It's final. It's bittersweet. I'm almost in tears as I type this... and we are still in pittsburgh for another 26 days... Oh my this could get ugly...