Bittersweet

Moving is bittersweet. Not a great revelation I know... but it's SO true.

Today I went to a real estate office and signed all of the paperwork. We officially sold our house. For a week we are homeless (not without lodging, just without a permanent place to land). As I walked through the house this morning and took out the last of the trash it was emotional. Everywhere I looked there was a memory. There was virtually nothing in that house that we hadn't updated or remodeled. As I looked around I was flooded by memories of countless hours and the blood sweat and tears that coincided with them. Justin and I did a lot of growing up in that house. We taught ourselves to repair and replace things, we painted more than you might believe, and we learned all about the true costs of homeownership.

But beyond the bones of the house there were so many memories. That is the only house Evan has ever known. I will miss how he learned where the cereal was and he would bring it to me every morning, and multiple other times during the day. I watched him today as he walked around with me and realized that he is just about the age Caleb was when we moved here... This is the only house Caleb really remembers, and the longest he's ever lived in one place. In his lifetime before moving here the longest he'd ever been in one place was 6 months... Such sweet memories of that boy around the house. (And the crazy ones, like the day when he was under 2 and he stood in the middle of the street and followed up that little stunt by putting corn up his nose, or the day he put beads up his nose.) And Elizabeth was so sweet and little when we moved here. She is still so sweet, and still little, but she has grown so much. She spent almost 3 entire summers outside running through the yards and playing with her friends. Unknown hours of pretend and riding and racing were seen by this house. I know this move is hardest for her. She understands what is happening. She understands what she is leaving behind. She has always had a hard time with goodbyes. Yesterday as we told our neighbor friends goodbye it was no exception. She hugged and cried, and hugged some more. My favorite thing was that she asked her sweet friend Samairee to walk her back home. This is what I caught:

For me? It's hard. I look around and see great times we've had a as a family. I see the place where I solidified my independence. I know I can handle a lot as a parent. I see the place where I learned to do it by myself and how to get through life without having my husband around. I spent a lot of time alone in that house. I missed family terribly from that house. I had great friendships form in that house. That house was a sanctuary for a friend in times of great trial. It was a wonderful old house.

That pretty much sums it up. It's hard. It's final. It's bittersweet. I'm almost in tears as I type this... and we are still in pittsburgh for another 26 days... Oh my this could get ugly...

Overwhelmed...

Noticed I've been blogging more lately?

Have I fallen upon loads of spare time? No
Am I bored? No
Have I hired a nanny?- No

Truth be told: I'm overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed? That doesn't seem outrageous, but not seeing the correlation between blogging... here it is.

I have SO much that I need to and should be doing. There is so much to be done that at times I feel paralyzed by the weight of it all. So what do I do in my paralysis? I blog...
Probably not the wisest of ways to spend my time, but I'm finding it therapeutic, so for me it is working.

The next 5 months hold the following things for our lives: finishing up all updates and repairs on this house, putting our house up for sale, keeping our house clean while it is on the market (perhaps my most intimidating task), selling our house (Lord willing), helping my kids finish the school year, helping my husband finish his residency, finding a place to live in TN, preparing my kids to move from the only place that my boys have really ever known and the first place my daughter has been old enough to truly have placed roots, preparing myself to leave the place that I have come to know as home and move away from some of the best friends of my life, and preparing all of us to once again start over with a new life new experiences and new friends.
All of this while keeping my daily life and daily tasks going as normal.

So yes, I'm overwhelmed. So if you see me here more often, just know that it's my therapy. And I'd love and welcome your prayers. :)

I'll try to keep you posted on our progress...

Success!!

Well after a long week, and LOTS of house hunting we have success! Today Justin and I successfully submitted an offer for a house!! It is surreal, and exciting. The house we got needs a little more work than we were anticipating doing, but was the best deal and the best house for us. We are thrilled and humbled.


Now those of you that actually know about this process, know that this is just the beginning and that we have a whole lot of work still ahead of us. Thank you all for your prayers and support. God has truly blessed us, and I know he has a plan for us in that house!

I was going to post a picture, but I am having trouble, so I will try to post later.

Mad dash...

I feel like after a week I should have something profound or funny to post about. I don't.

It seems like most of my mental energies are now spent trying to make a mad dash to prepare for living in Pittsburgh. I've started a garage sale list in my mind (which is humorous because we are seriously living on borrowed furniture), and decided which items won't make the move with us. We've also been trying to arrange to get to Pittsburgh and try to buy a house!! I am excited and scared about this at the same time. We are so new to this, and I am trying to look at and decide things about a city I've never even set foot in.

So I raise my glass to the mad dash that is the next 3 months. Here's to looking, financing, flying, touring, talking, walking, debating, deciding and all the other chaos that is to come from finding a future home. Ahh, life is an adventure

#3

I have a new excuse for my blogging laziness. We are readying ourselves to move... again. That's right move #3 in eight months. But, at least when we move the next time (in 4 months) we will be in one place for several years! :)
Justin has sent in his rankings, so we have at least an idea of where that will be. Hopefully this move will be full of new friends, great experiences, and good family togetherness time.
Here I raise my glass to another unknown road that God is leading me down. Oh Lord please use us in this place and may the light within us shine your glorious brightness to those around us.

Slacker blogger

I have been a slacker on the blogging front. Sorry.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year. Our family had a blast. We've been blessed to spend quality time with both sides of our family. We took Elizabeth ice skating for the first time, and it was great! Caleb has a new tooth, and is working on 2 more. He still doesn't want to walk, but he loves to stand up unassisted in every room and on every surface.
We have a few more weeks with my parents, and then we move... again. At least after this move we will only have one more in the next three years. :) Life is busy and good. We are blessed.

I hope you are too.

My 4 Heroes

This post is dedicated to Allison, Debbi, Sarah and Susan.

These are four incredible women. Four women who taught me last week what it means to be a true friend. Four women who helped me in ways I did not even know I would need. Thank you to the four of you for realizing before I even did that I am not superwoman, and I needed help. Thanks for hours watching my kids, and giving me peace knowing I didn't have to worry. Thanks for hours of cleaning and late nights together. Thanks for wonderful encouraging words, and long embraces as we said good-bye. Thanks for fighting back the tears with me and telling me it was going to be okay. Thanks for everything. I cannot imagine my life without you, and every time I think about facing this year without you I can't believe it's going to happen. My life is better and blessed because you have been in it. It is my prayer that God will bless you the way you have blessed me.

I'm in TX now running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get things done and feel a little settled. I don't know when that feeling will come.

I was reading last night and was very encouraged when I ran across this verse in Joshua... "Be strong and courageous, Do not be terrifies; don not be discouraged, for the Lord you God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9b

It's a hard knock life...

I've been a slacker... I could blame the lack of blogging on the fact that the whole family got sick 2 weeks ago, or that we are trying to move, or that we are now shopping for a new car. But it hasn't been one of these factors, it's been all of these things combined... ;) Plus being in that state of mind where you're not sure what if anything you should write about.

We're selling our minivan. It's not exactly what I hoped/wanted to be doing at this time in our lives. But, the AC is on the fritz again. And we've had decided the last time we took it in was our last time to repair this AC. (For those of you that don't know, we had the AC basically completely replaced 3 separate times at Ford dealerships in 3 different states. It was not a fun vacation, and our latest dealership to fix it just went bankrupt!) So, I loose my big comfy van for a more affordable and less gas guzzling car. I'm sad. I like the van. I don't like filling it up though. Elizabeth will probably cry, again.

This moving business is proving to be very hard on my 3 year old. I got a book form the library that we read together about moving, and how it can make you feel. When we finished it yesterday she just started crying and said "I don't want to move!!" We are selling some of our furniture, so last week we sold our beds. I cannot describe for you the tears that occurred over this event. I was trying to explain that we would not be selling her new bed spread or room decor, and then I thought it would help if I let her know she could help us pick out her new bed after we got settled. I said, "we will get you a new bed, a brand spankin' new bed!" She turned and looked at me with a slight look of horror on her face and breaking out into tears she said "I don't want a spanking bed!!!" At least she keeps us laughing!

If anyone has any ideas on ways to make this easier let me know...

Moving

We're moving...
It's good and bad. Happy and Sad... (feel free to sing along)

So we have a little over a month left here in Iowa. And I am totally torn.
For 5 years (from the day I left for college until when we moved into this apartment) I (we) moved every year. This is the longest I have lived in one place since I moved out on my own.

There are so many things that make this place special in my heart forever. It is the first time I have ever lived FAR away from any family. So, it made me really grow up and establish things for myself. It also changed me because of our circumstances. I have spent so much time alone, or just with Elizabeth over the last 3 years that I had to make my friends and neighbors more like family. I am going to miss people tremendously. This is the only house my 3 year old has ever really known, and to leave it and our friends makes me so sad for her.

Many of you know, that this is also a welcome move. Some of you may know that Iowa is probably not my favorite of the 50 states... :) But despite the terrible driving, road planning, snow storms, and cold it hasn't been that bad. I am happy to be moving closer to family. (Even if it is short lived.) I am happy to be moving away from winter wiper blades and bundling my kids up like eskimos. I am happy that this means Justin is one year closer to fulfilling his dreams, and we are all one more year closer to being done with school.

I'm delaying getting boxes, because then I can delay packing. As long as I delay packing I can almost delay the reality of facing this jumble of emotions. (I can at least brush them from the front of my mind.)
I'm sure many of you have moved before and know what I mean. I'd love to hear anything you have to say about the subject. And if you're around here, do you know where I can get boxes? I can't put it off forever...