My tribe

So, many of you know we are in Pittsburgh. That is the one in Pennsylvania friends, not Texas. That puts us approximately 1449 miles from my parents, and 1467 miles from Justin's parents. So, we don't exactly have family nearby.

I don't know if I have mentioned it (or ranted about it), but my husband works A LOT and his hours can be crazy! He often works late or has meetings at night, and he spends the night at the hospital several times a month. This life can get a little lonely. And while I am not a single parent, or a military wife (to whom I cannot hold a candle, and with whom I am super impressed) I spend a lot of time alone with my kids. Frankly I spend a lot of time alone, period.


My secret to survival and to maintaining sanity in all of this is my girls. But these girls aren't just my girl friends who I hang out with on occasion, they are my lifeline. They are my emergency back up, my babysitters, my confidants, my support system, and sometimes the only adults I get to speak with in a day. We celebrate holidays, birthdays, and our children's milestones together. These girls are more than just my friends, they are my family. There isn't a way to describe how much they mean to me. They have made my 2 years here in PA livable.


You see my girls all understand my life, it's chaos, loneliness and drama. My girls are also resident wives. We are all thousands of miles away from family. We all agreed lovingly to give up all we knew and those we loved to follow our husbands to the ends of the country for their dreams. We all knew that it meant often being alone and taking care of our kids by ourselves. We all encourage each other that this time and way of life is temporary.


We are more than friends. We are our own tribe. Taking care of each other and each other's children. We will be friends forever. We have seen each other through life changes. When one of us struggles or hurts we share that with each other.

So to you girls, thank you. I love you. I am here for you and will always be.

Loss...

I've spent most of the last hour in front of my computer crying. Just letting the tears pour down my face. It is in moments like this that I am amazed by and so confused by God and his will and work in our lives.
I've been thinking a great deal about loss the last few weeks. There are three stories that God has brought before me in the last few weeks, and I wanted to share them with you. Share them so that you may be encouraged in your faith, as I have been. And share them so that you might join me in praying for these amazing people, that God will continue to hold them, lift them up, and bless them as they mourn.
The first story is of my friend Anne. Anne Lincoln moved into the Gardner dorm room that happened right next to mine in the fall of 1999. I don't specifically remember meeting Anne, but to say that my life was forever blessed and changed because of that housing situation is the truth. Anne and I have been good friends for over 10 years now, and even though we don't see each other often our friendship is one that begins just where it was and runs deep. Between our Sophomore and Junior years of college Anne lost her mother. It was a difficult time for Anne, but I remember hearing stories of how Anne's speaking at the funeral was such a testimony of God's forgiveness and goodness. About a month ago Anne also lost her father. A quick run down of that story is given on my friend Laura's blog here. Anne has a half sister, but no other real family. As all of this happened I couldn't imagine what it must be like to be 28 years old and be "alone" without family in this world. But the Lord has been good to Anne and I know he has provided a much larger family to Anne than any blood family could ever be. I know she is still hurting and redefining what is "normal" in her life, but she showed great strength and faith in God at her father's funeral. I said it then, and I'll say it again. I will be blessed if my children end up as faithful to God as my dear friend Anne Lincoln is.
The second family is the Sullivan family. I learned of the Sullivan family and their struggle through a high school friend Mysha, who was in young life with Sara. Sara had a mammogram at the end of February that showed breast cancer. Their baby girl Chloe was born September 8th, and Sara passed away September 22nd. Through all of their trials Brady and Sara, always speak of their faith in God, the faithfulness God delivers and Brady continues to allow God to work in his heart and life. Sara was truly an amazing woman who was used by God. You can read their whole story, and follow Brady and Chloe's journey here.
The third story is of the Jacobs' family. Chelsea and Mark are friends of friends who I didn't even know their story, but I have been blessed by their struggle, their honesty and their faith. They have 3 beautiful daughters, and they were expecting their 4th child and first son Chase in November. Somehow Chase's umbilical cord got pinned and a blood clot formed. Chase passed away without ever seeing a day on this earth. This story touches me deeply as our sons were only a little over 2 weeks apart in due dates. Please join me in praying for the Jacbos family and if you want to read more of their story you will find it here.
I'm not sure exactly how God is speaking to me through all of these stories, or if he is preparing my heart for something. Many of you know we lost a baby in January, and a that point I felt that for the first time I truly turned the happenings of my family over to the Lord. When we were blessed with Evan I knew he was totally of the Lord's design and plan. I am reminded through all of this that all things, including myself, my husband and each of my children are truly the Lord's. And Lord it is our desire to be used for your glory and to be a part of your will. We love you Lord!

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4

What a month!

August has 3 hours left. Man, what a month! It has been a crazy, busy, chaotic, and yet mundane month.
If summer ever really came to Pennsylvania it was in August, but I didn't realize it was going to be a week or so of hot weather or I would have taken better advantage of those few days... Needless to say our swimming lessons are either going to be indoors, or wait until next summer.
Our month started/July ended with some great upheaval. Our dog Samson who we loved is no longer with us. Nothing tragic, I just finally came to the realization that he wasn't a good fit for our family. He hated (and by hated I mean tried to eat) all kids but ours. Not exactly what you are looking for in a wonderful family pet. It was with much weeping that we turned him back in to the rescue where we got him. So for now we are dog less again. But the longing for a dog runs pretty deep so I am sure we will have one before too long.
Justin officially started his second year of Residency in July, and is enjoying it. He spent the month of August working with the vascular surgeons and came home with some really great stories of surgeries he had been involved in. He still works lots of long hours, but hopefully he will be on call and actually out of the house less in September, so that will be nice.
Baby Evan is growing well. I go back to the doctor on Friday for normal stuff and my lovely glucose test. He is big enough now that Caleb and Elizabeth really enjoy talking to him, and kissing my belly. I think Caleb finally really understands what is going on and is excited, which is wonderful. He keeps asking me if Evan is coming today. No concept of time. :) (He also has started asking every day if he is 3 yet. I don't know how to explain to him how long two months is...)
Speaking of time it is flying. I consider myself lucky because I know most people have already packed up and sent their little ones to school, but I am have a whole week left! Schools here in Pittsburgh start on Thursday, but the kindergartners take the first week to test so E doesn't start until next Thursday! She and I are both excited and nervous. Our biggest decision is if she will ride the bus or not... AGGHH!! Next week will be crazy with not only her starting Kindergarten, but Caleb will start pre-school on Tuesday! He is SO excited, and can hardly wait to go. He even told me he would take Evan. :) With all that is going on next week I think I may start a private picture blog so I can show off my little cuties to those of you I know.:)
If you read all of this thanks. I'm sorry it has been so long. But clearly you are a trooper to stick it out through this long rambling post.

Overwhelmed...

I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed the last week or two. I seem to be just putting too much on my plate. I don't actually see that pressure diminishing anytime soon though...
Maybe finally having the fence up for the dog, and having my in-laws come in a few weeks will help. Frankly, maybe Justin having his first full weekend off (Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday without going in at all!) in about 7 weeks this weekend will be exactly what we all need. Of course, I'm actually feeling pretty good because all of the dishes are washed at the moment. Flip side: My momentum for making dinner, and thus dirtying new dishes has greatly decreased... (Perhaps why I have stopped to blog.)
Kiddo Updates: Elizabeth lost another tooth on Sunday. It was such a joyous moment. Her screams/shouts/screeches of joy didn't subside for a full 5 minutes! The best part was she wiggled it out herself, and her pride over doing it herself, and her joy were almost equally matched.
Caleb has a new obsession. He picked out green flip flops at the store. He calls them his Chick Hicks shoes. (A 'Cars' reference.) He wants to wear them everyday. He carries them around, and has to show them off to people. It is quite humorous. But also unfortunate considering we are having a typical spring here in Pittsburgh. Average high temps are high 60s. Not exactly flip flop weather... :( (A whole seperate topic on which I could post a rant, but shall refrain. Let's just say this Texas girl is not impressed with how slow it is to warm up around here!)
Also, we have a plug and play game, that Caleb loves to play. Today he plugged into the TV correctly, and I don't think it was a fluke. Wow... that is scary. How soon will it be before he can do all sorts of things with our electronics, that I never even dreamed of...
Finally, I have a new niece today! My brother Jeff and sister-in-law Amy (well mostly Amy) had a baby girl named Paige today. I can't wait to see her and my other new niece Aubrey that was born about 3 weeks ago. What fun it will be when we go visit in June!
Elizabeth is SO excited. Now the girls almost equal the boys. 5 grandsons, 4 granddaughters on my family's side. She's been so outnumbered... :)